a wise man named Mangler (bearded royalty) once said, "bacon makes everything better." i've tested that theory. its true. burger? better. steak? better. waffles? better. sex? better. sausage wrapped bacon with cheese in the middle? definitely better with bacon on top.
that being said, i've known for a while that bacon is awesome. but it seems to be invading other foods quick. i saw bacon flavored cheddar slices in the grocery store. i teared up a little. it was a great day.
then i found bacon salt. that's right. bacon salt. wanna know the crazy part. it's kosher. i don't have any clue how to get bacon flavor in something, and keep it kosher. i'll admit, tears rolled down my face. it was a great day.
then, it happened. i found proof that heaven is a place called earth. hold bacon in your left hand, and mayonnaise in your right (sorry if you have less than 2 hands. you can use feet if necessary. if you are also missing feet, sorry friend. just use your imagination.) now bring your hands together. that's right, Baconnaise (that's food royalty if there ever was one.) i wept openly. it was a glorious day. i'm still crying. and as my eyes glaze with tears of joy, i see a cardiologist eyes roll to $$. oh well. its so worth it. mmmmm...... my chest hurts.... someone.....get me an aspirin....wrapped in bacon. mmmmm.....death never tasted so awesome.
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