Friday, December 19, 2008

Staples in the Head, and Make Believe Doctors

today, i pulled a staple out of a persons head. it was AWESOME!!!! and not a staple from a bad office accident. a friend had a 4-wheelin accident and i was flattered when she chose me to remove the staple that the doctor had so painfully put in.
while preparing for the minor surgery, i asked a doctor at work if it was easy? i figured that since the doctor had given her the option of coming to the hospital and having it removed or having someone else take it out, how hard could it be. i will save you the suspense, i didn't kill her. the doctor at work told me that it was not as simple as it seems. when i watched some videos on America's learning center, youtube, i got a little worried. they were huge staples. one video made it sound like the guy removing the staples was surgeon and he said "don't try this at home" and then commented about getting squirted in the eye by blood when he removed the first staple.
turns out, the head staple works similar to an office staple. curls under and all. i was impressed at how far under it went. once i got the staple out, i realized that there was as much showing, as was under the skin. madness!!
luckily for me, she had a small staple (about the thickness of a standard office supply.) so instead of doing like the video said, i just cut the staple in half with some heavy duty wire cutters then pulled them out. she said on a scale of 1-10 with 1 not hurting, and 10 being getting all your limbs removed then being dipped in lime juice this was about a 4.5. but that was because i pulled the staple out slowly. but now that i know how long they are, i woulda just yanked those beeotches out therefore lowering the pain level to a 2. so i'd hope.
the moral of the story is, if i don't know how to do it, i can figure it out. like my 3rd favorite tv dr. (quick shout out to j.d from scrubs at #2 and of course doogie at #1) chris turk from scrubs said, "learn by doing." and if i think its gonna hurt, i'm just gonna give you a shot of bourbon. bottoms up!

2 comments:

Ferdlings said...

Part of your schooling is YouTube videos? Awesome.

Kyle said...

You coulda punched the patient in the mouth before removing the staple and they'd have never noticed the staple pain.