Show Some Love, In an Elevator

why? great googly moogly why? why is it that when people get on an elevator all conversations cease? its o.k. to keep conversating if you and a friend get on an elevator and there is a person on it you don't know. i was on an elevator the other day and four ladies got on. when the doors opened i could hear the head lady (not the leader, the lady with a huge head) chatting ab the cookout she was at last weekend. she made a quip and the other three ladies started giggling, but as they crossed the threshold of the elevator the laughter stopped. and we rode up four floors in total silence. when they reached the floor of destiny, they all stepped off and as their legs stepped onto non-moving floor, the conversation picked up right where they left off. the potato salad. its kinda rude to treat me like a commie spy. i know its a confined area, but you can say, "hey. hows it goin?" or even just keep the conversation going.

just do it people. be polite on an elevator. together we can change this crappy social rule. farting is still banned though.

And the Oscar Goes to...

i would like to begin this post by giving a belated congratulations and thanks to the winners of the 81st oscars. congrats for the "W" and thanks for letting me know you are out there. i recently added you to my netflix. 

the awards and the talk about "who's best" got me thinkin about an old post i had when i mentioned how good the strokes album "room on fire" was, and then mentioned that a list of my top 5 albums was to come soon. mangler, joey, stew and i are now officially making a top 10 favorite albums of all time. only rule is it can't be a greatest hits album. list should be in by next saturday. remember, its your personal favorite 10 of all time. its o.k. to put a hanson album on there paul. if you like 'em, do it. i will let my thousands of adoring fans know what we come up with.

excuse me, got some jammin' to do.

The Rise of the Penguin!!!

i'm mark the penguin. you know, the hot fowl in the picture? meat knows sex sells so he put my face out front. since he went to work i took over for a quick morning post. when the owners head out they think i just stand here on the counter and watch the coffee pot. i'm actually online buying stocks. if the puking baby can do it why can't a bird? i'm also screwing with his blog. giving you guys the inside scoop. he thinks he's so cool for having a blog. he's just another moron who thinks he has some writing ability. he's wrong. i'm the real genius behind all this. his "meet meat" post, that was my title idea. he doesn't wash his hands when he goes to the bathroom, i had to add that part because he's an unsanitary fool. i'm the one who put those pictures on there the other day. i wanted the world to see how funny lookin that guy is. you think he knows that hair style has never been in style? that's just what mothers do to kids with fat heads. you shoulda seen him last night. the red head that lives here was gone last night and he was in the kitchen with dancing and singin how he will survive at the top of his lungs. and just so you know, he promotes the stereotype of white men and rhythm. i'm pretty sure that steve martin's character from "the jerk" would dominate him in a dance off.

well it's been fun guys. i'll bring the dirt again soon but for now i gotta go pee on the floor in front of the litter box and get the cat in trouble.

Pythagoras, My Hero

i have an english test tomorrow. i don't like english. i'm a math guy. x=6. thats an answer in math. no debate. finite. i like my english teacher. she's young and fun and rather a.d.d. thats fun. there are to many possible answers in english. "what do you think the author meant by that?" i think the author meant what he said. thats why he said it that way. if he meant something else by it, why didn't he just say that? we don't need to put words in dead guys' mouths. thats just icky.

maybe i can make this into a math problem.

english 102 = the vin diesel classic, the fast and the furious.

they both suck, but i'm entertained during both.

math saves the day again.